Heartache and stresses

Time flies fast and without knowing it, it's been past one month I'm living in Gua Musang. Everything happened so fast- moving in to the hospital quarters, settling in (still), lots of meetings and courses in Kota Bharu (3 hours drive, my god), dealing with some annoying colleagues, dealing with patients (not so troublesome), dealing with my stubborn stepbrother etc etc...

Life must go on.. although I miss my Klang and my family so much, i have to bear with it. I have lots of things to do here this month. Oncalls, courses, Health Ministry programme in Kelantan (which I'm the organizer for Hospital Gua Musang), and lots more.

Honestly I don't have problems dealing with workstuff, but I'm so stressed dealing with my stepbrother. Sometimes I just wonder if I should just ditch him and let his father take care of him (which is very impossible, no one knows where he is now). I love him like my own brother. It's just that I cannot handle him- so stubborn and apparently he also lied to me about doing his homeworks. I just checked through his bag today, and I found out he's got more than 5 homeworks not done (I dunno since when). He lied to me about doing his schoolwork so that he could play games on the internet. And I, stupidly believing in him, let him use the computer all this while without checking if he's done his homework or not. Today I lost my anger at him, AGAIN. Last time I lost my anger at him, it caused him seizures and I had to admit him to the ward for one night. Today I don't feel like I care. I can hear him walking around in the house so I know he's not fitting.

I just hope Allah will give me strength at least for this year to take care of him. I want him to have at least SPM education. I'm still single, never been a mother and all of sudden I have to take care of a 17 year old teenage boy who thinks all about himself and not others. I'm still having difficulties coping with him. It's easier to take care of a cat than him.

I'm just so tired.. emotionally drained, physically exhausted and mentally disturbed.
I'd better go calm myself
bye....